Sex and the City had a lot of things, but it was seriously lacking in elephants.
Thankfully, Netflix have identified this glaring omission and have us covered, enlisting one quarter of the SATC core four to star in its new sort-of-Christmas, but-not-really movie Holiday in the Wild.
The film stars Kristen Davis as mother-of-one Kate, who was already dealing with her only son leaving for college before her husband decided he would like a divorce precisely 10 seconds after their child walks out the door, and Rob Lowe as uh… Derek? He’s a pilot who loves elephants and painting, apparently.
Here’s the Holiday in the Wild trailer, FYI. Post continues below video.
It’s only early November so Holiday in the Wild is more about an African elephant sanctuary than Santa, so we’ve dubbed it ‘Christmas-lite’.
It also poses… many questions. Like, we know a semi-Christmas movie about a woman who leaves her life to work at an elephant sanctuary in Zambia is probably not going to be 100 per cent factually sound, but seriously, we need to discuss some confusing parts of this film:
1. Could her husband not have waited at least a minute after their son left to ask for a divorce?
Idk, like maybe over dinner or something? That was the quickest ‘Look, nah, I want a divorce’ we ever saw. And with just two small bags of stuff out from their enormous, beautifully decorated Manhattan apartment, he was gone.
If their son had dropped something and stopped to pick it up, or needed to run back into the house for his phone charger, his dad would’ve beaten him out the building.
2. How has her adult son grown an inch in 37 days?
Let’s ignore the ridiculousness of Kate measuring her 18/19-year-old son’s height on a door frame before he leaves for college and focus on the fact that she apparently did so again just over a month beforehand, and he’d grown A FULL INCH in that time? Will he ever stop growing? Has he been cursed with growing at an alarming rate for the rest of his life? Is he okay?
3. Did anyone tell producers there is about 2000 kilometres between Zambia and South Africa?
Accents suggest no.
Also, it is very problematic that Zambia and Africa are synonymous in this movie.