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Dear Disney, I'm begging you to give Elsa what she's been needing all along.

Dear Disney,

(As in, the company of Disney. Not Mr Disney. Though if you can read this from heaven, Walt, it’s relevant to you, too.)

Let’s chat.

I’m a good wing-woman. Ask any of my friends. I’ve taken their phones to reply flirty messages when they didn’t have the nerve or the game. I’ve accidentally bumped them into cute strangers in nightclubs. I’ve provided everything from pick-up lines to protection.

And now, I need to wing-woman the hottest cartoon-snow-Queen on the single scene. My freezy friend, Elsa.

Yaaassssss kween.(Screenshot via Walt Disney Pictures.) 

You may know Elsa from such hits as Frozen and Every Young Girl At Every Costume Party And Sometimes Just At The Supermarket For The Last Three Years.  Of course you know her. You created her, Disney. You gave her the worlds' catchiest song ever, to the point it has driven every parent totally motherfreezing insane.

Now, you owe her.

Because of you, Elsa spent years in icy isolation. Literally. Ice everywhere, and no lovin' in sight. So, Disney, now that you are reportedly in the final stages of working the script for Frozen 2, you should think about giving Elsa a loverrrrr.

And not just any ol' prince. Give Elsa a girlfriend.

If you've been online today, Disney, you'll see I'm not the only one supporting this. Just check out the hashtag of #GiveElsaAGirlfriend and you'll be buried in quality reading material. Even Idina Menzel, THE VOICE OF ELSA, is in on it FFS.

Just think about it. I mean, all that business with Elsa in the first film about a 'secret' she had to hide from everyone. Were we just talking about the freezy fingers? Or were we allegorically taking down a narrow-minded, homophobic society? HEY, DISNEY?

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In general, you're doing some cool things to push the princess boundary these days, Disney. No longer are your princesses stereotyped caucasian drama queens. Now we've got badass princesses who fight, and Asian princesses who risk their lives, and African-American princesses who build their own dream, and an ogre princess, and even a redhead princess with archery skills. It's great to see little girls having some cool cartoon chicks to idolise, and not females who only have ambitions to meet a prince, and have nice hair.

It's all about supporting the sisterhood. (Screenshot via Walt Disney Pictures.)

But what about a same-sex couple? I mean, you've covered a woman falling in love with a beast. And a prince falling in love with a part-woman-part-fish (or 'mermaid' if you want to sound romantic). And a princess falling in love with a street-rat-who-lies-to-her-by-using-a-magical-genie-to-give-him-the-appearance-of-wealth. Why not two chicks? In fact, of all the plot-lines you cover, my darling Disney, it'd be one of the more plausible ones.

So why not give Elsa a girlfriend?

If your reasoning is "because she doesn't need another person to make her feel whole" then Amen, Disney. Let's hear it for the single Queens. Give her a cool apartment and a great art collection and a vibrator and leave her to live out a happy single existence as the cool Aunty Elsa.

But if you are hooking her up with someone in the sequel (because, let's face it, you guys literally invented that 'happy ending') then you should make it a girl. A cool one. Ooh! Maybe a girl with fire powers, to match Elsa's icy powers! (If that becomes the plot now, you better give me a commission cheque you sneaky idea-thieves).

Cool Aunty Elsa? (No pun intended.) (Screenshot via Walt Disney Pictures.)

There are so many reasons why. I could bang on about diversity, or LGBTQI representation and role models for young gay kids, or the fact that no other high-profile kids movie has ever done it, but I won't. Not because it's not all of the utmost relevance, but because me telling you why to do it is not the best case scenario.

The best case scenario is that you guys will just do it, without even considering all the reasons why you should. You'll just give Elsa a girlfriend, without a press release or a publicity stunt or even a big 'coming out' for Elsa. You'll just do it as a complete non-event, as if Elsa's sexuality is as normal and acceptable as her hair braid. Because that's the way it should be. And that, dear Disney, would be a happy ending for everyone.

Okay. Wing-woman out.

Love and icicles,

Queen Lucy of Arendelle.

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